The usual stuff happened. You know, getting up at ridiculously early o'clock (4:50 am), being at work by 6, leaving at 2:30 pm. Regular stuff. Then a plan fell through. That's when the weirdness began.
I received a call from a family member regarding certain dramas, and felt incapable of meeting the request. I was kind of at a loss. The request just felt too big for me, so out of character, I didn't think I could do it. Not to mention all the possible outcomes I began imagining if I did try it.
Then I started worrying that by not taking up this challenge I was slippery-sloping back to my pre-realization days of letting perceptions-without-fact get in the way of my life and how I conduct myself. This was different, though. I had (somewhat) logical reasons to believe these imagined outcomes could be realized in devastating ways.
So I waited.
I didn't really do anything productive.
Then it hit me. I don't want to say it was fate, or anything like that, but it came to my attention that perhaps the afternoon/evening plan having fallen through was affording me an opportunity to help out when I wouldn't have otherwise been able to.
At that point, I decided to go for a drive. Thinking to myself that I wasn't necessarily going to take up the request, but if I should happen to be in the area at the time, then maybe things would just work out.
Well, I did find myself in the area at the specified time, but somehow I still couldn't make good on the request. And what's more, another family member was making good on this request. This came as a bit of a surprise to me, as the person who had brought this to my attention had basically said that I was the only person who could do this thing; that everyone else was unavailable.
When I found myself unable to make good on this request and knowing that someone else now knew that too, I felt very shameful. Like a coward. It didn't really make sense to me.
After the thing happened and my position at the periphery was left, I went to a nearby store and tried to figure out what had happened. What to do. I went over the evening's events and seriously wondered if this situation had bearing on what I felt I had just gotten past. Especially the difference between what actually happened and what I had imagined could have happened.
Since I was in the area where the plans that had fallen through could have happened, I checked to see if they could be repaired, but such was not to be.
I really didn't want to go over my inner-monologue with my family members, as they were pretty much the source of the insecurity at that moment, so I didn't really know what to do.
As has often been the case with me in the past, and I imagine with many people in times of uncertainty, I went to the beach.
That's when things began getting more interesting. I had taken my camera with me thinking that I might have an opportunity to take some photographs for the request, and found it fortuitous to have my camera on hand for the nice sunset and various modes of travel I found myself bounded by.
A couple of years ago I happened to be at a beach when a train was passing by. I also happened to have my camera and tripod with me. This made for an interesting image as the train is motion blurred while passing under the bridge I was standing on. For a while now I've had a desire to go out and actually attempt a purposeful train in motion picture. For that image to be the goal of my outing.
Well, last night all those conditions were met. Plus there was an additional bonus, and that was that it was at night. Night photography makes for some pretty interesting twists on what people are used to seeing images of.
So, as I was out at the beach, I wandered this way and that, taking pictures of the ferries, the sunset, the lighthouse, a group of high school students who had a fire going, basically anything that happened to catch my eye. If I heard a train coming though, I would run back and try to take pictures of it.
My strategy wasn't working.
Eventually I decided to just set up my tripod aimed at the spot the train was going to be passing by, and wait. I ended up waiting for about 2 hours. It was worth it though, I got about 5 or so pretty good shots. The only problem is that there were people in the shot, and since it was at night and the shutter had to be open for 5 - 30 seconds, the camera picked up all their atrocious movement. In each of the images there are ghostly images of people. It was unavoidable, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.
After the train had finished passing, I decided to head back to the other side of the beach and take pictures of the ferries coming in and out of the dock. On my way over there, I saw the raucous group of teens that had been all over the beach while I'd been there. They were surrounding a fire. I was carrying my tripod with the camera still mounted to it, and one person near the fire shouted 'hey! take our picture!'
Ordinarily this would have terrified me and I would have pretended that it hadn't happened and just kept walking. This night was different. I did something so incredibly out of character for myself that I almost couldn't believe that it had happened. I agreed to do this thing. Walking the short distance up the beach to where they were gathered round their fire, I planted the tripod and began taking pictures. At first I tried on auto with flash, but those came out with a dull, blown-out foreground. It was awful. I tried setting the shutter open longer but still with the flash, but each of those had terribly mixed results. It was so weird. There was a group of 20+ teenagers waiting on me, the guy who had no aspirations of being the sort of photographer that tells people to say "cheese!" There was nothing in me that knew how, or even wanted to manage them, for that matter. I just wanted to take my pictures. Eventually some of them came around to check my progress, and I was kind enough to show them the neat pictures I'd had from the train coming by, but was sad that none their pictures were really turning out that well.
Then, at last, there was no more effort being put toward making them pose. One of them said 'let's all be goofy!' And I said that was a great idea. Just be goofy. That was the last picture I took of them.
They were satisfied with that one, thank goodness. I don't think either of us had the patience to continue.
They were kind enough to let me stick around and take pictures of their fire, though. Fire photography, especially at night, has always been really fascinating to me. It can produce such amazingly ridiculously awesome results.
Before leaving that fine group of people somewhat younger than myself, I made sure to get an email address to send a picture to, which they could then further disseminate at their discretion.
So, after having taken pictures of a group of complete strangers and their fire, I continued my trudge toward the ferry dock, grinning like an idiot.
I knew that I had done something I wouldn't have done a little over a week ago. Whatever doubts I had felt prior in the evening felt safely categorized as something else. In times gone by, I have often thought about some of the pictures I have taken of people, and wondering if that person would want a copy of it. I might just start offering now.
The last image I'm going to add is of one of those ferries.
Once I got home last night, I began sorting through the two hundred-some-odd pictures I had taken, and posted a few of the ones I thought were the best. Shortly before I went to bed at the end of my 20 hour day, I discovered the following, and (feeling exceptionally clever), titled it 'The Sound and the Ferry.' Enjoy.
I'd say the day turned out pretty well.
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